yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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