Do vagina's smell?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
