I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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