Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
