I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I think I sprained my soul last night
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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