We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
