Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
