oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
one might say we're banned from that church
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
