I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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