If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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