id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We left an ass print on the piano.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
