dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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