This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
