The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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