Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
