I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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