I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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