pop tarts are not kleenex
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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