and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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