Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
