There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize