Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
