rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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