I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If its not for food we ain't going out.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
