So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
