Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize