Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
3pm strippers are depressing
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
