How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
