Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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