How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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