The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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