the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
