Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
