Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
why do cheetos always look like penises
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
