I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
