90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
