you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He better not be in your backpack
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize