my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
