Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
