I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
