Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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