Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
