dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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