one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
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