Three words: puerto rican gang bang
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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