He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Text me some of your sweat
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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