I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
