Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
