dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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