"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
