And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
