We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize