Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
try to milk me bitch
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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