K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
