Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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