I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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