..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sorry about my life...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
