I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
